Part II- Heart of Nicarauga

 So part two-

Here is my heart:

I can hardly believe I’m already going into our third country! Some days I do feel as if I have been gone for six months, but at the same time it feels like so much has happened in such little time.

Simple fact of life- Life doesn’t go on pause. Things happen, seasons change, and there is a lot of change and transition at home even when you’re gone.  Let’s be real, I miss home.  I miss my Arwood girls, the Weeks, The Roberts fam, Walters, Wiggins, Sarah Taylor, Lanes the list goes on and on.. I miss nights on the couch watching Netflix, sugar popcorn, grassroots etc etc.. It’s no wonder I miss these people, and these things. I love home. I love my community. 

If you read my last blog you know that I have seen a miracle in these last two months! I have seen a man healed from sickness! I have been growing in abilities to lead, and have even helped out in worship

So, with all these amazing things going on I ask myself why does my heart hurt so bad sometimes?

The simple answer I can give is that I am on a journey. I am on a journey of my heart, a pilgrimage if you will. I am in a process with the Lord that deals with my heart in the wilderness- through the messy, broken and gory bits of me. I am having a complete overhaul of my heart country to country, month by month, day by day..

"Not all who wander are lost"

Colossians 3:2 MSG says this- “Don’t shuffle along eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ-that’s where the action is. See things from His perspective. Set your mind on things above”.

Col 2:11 says this- “Entering into this fullness is not something you figure out or achieve.”

I want to revert back to a message I am chewing on currently and speak about a mind, body, heart and spirit at rest.

One quote from it says this- “a mind, heart, body, spirit at rest gives the capacity to deal with what’s right in front of you and then beyond it.”

This is where I’m at.. Currently in this process..and here is a heart check question that I read from Kacie Lynn's Color Me Captivated Post- what if this process is lifelong? Check it out online (Purpose in the Process-colormecaptivated.com)

I am learning trust, I am learning love. I am learning how to not depend on my own understanding, but depend on the Lord. I am learning that to truly enter into fullness, it can't be something I strive for. It can’t be achieved that way. To enter into the promise land you just have to believe the promise.You have to commit yourself to the process. I'm here in this process for a purpose, for a calling. I'm where I'm at right now for a reason. Only good can come from this season. 

I am learning how to trust in the Lord’s promises to me. I am speaking back His truths when I hear the lies, I speak back His promises over me- over my future, over my heart.

I am learning to grieve, and yet also learning how to cultivate thankfulness.

I am in one of the best seasons of my life. This is the reality I’m in. This is the Lord’s best for me in this season. This race, this community, these people, these kids..

This is a once in a lifetime season. I will never have another chance to share in these great stories and these great adventures with these great people ever again. This makes me purposeful for my time here, in ministry and within the squad. As I have talked to all of ya I believe this applies for all my peeps back home too.  I am learning how to “Be here now”, and so are many of you. I miss you all, and I love you all..And I'm proud of you, and I am proud of me.

Our lives are becoming works of art. Yours, mine. Our lives are becoming a masterpiece that the Great Artist heart has His hand to. I see random brush strokes, and can’t see the whole picture just yet, it looks all distorted to me, but soon my life- our lives, they will be a beautiful a tapestry of love formed into such beauty and splendor that will reflect the Great Artist that started the good thing in us, in me..

To all my friends, all my family

“Serious art is born form serious play”.. so play! That is what I’m doing.

Even the days I don’t believe. The days I struggle to love, struggle to pray, struggle to trust. I repeat back to Him I love Him, I trust Him, and I will say it until I believe it. Then I go play..

Remember and bring to mind that we are His craftsmanship, His handy work. Our lives, our future, our hearts, In His hands are where those things are safest.

Enjoy today